Thursday, April 30, 2009
rudimentary languish
transcending adriotly, the troughs of emotion once felt
when enthrallment first struck fittingly sticks, forever
in debt to a comfortable, believable persona from the past.
mistakened, forsakened in stark, barren truth,
many try to conform to acceptable disbelief and unshackle
themselves from the familiar ties that bind,
policing a social veneer of forwardness and openess, with times
leading new sheep, with the promise of green pastures.
granted and defintely proven, the test of time and its elements prove
that a bad man's lovely worth and fervored impressions fade with attrition
as easily as Sisyphus's obligations.
often times it is the demons that unwittingly bind us, rather than
good ones, as with a sinkhole that threatens to be an eternal damnation, belies a presumed self-divulged love treasurewaiting to be embraced...
if ever.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Detachment does not mean not loving; it means loving well. We love if we learn, little by little, not to use another as an instrument for getting-my-own-way. I love the natural world by relating to it with reverence and courtesy. I love both people and things by leaving about them an area of peace and space in which they can be themselves, without forcing and cutting them into my own shape and size.
Miriam Pollard
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Time past and time future
Allow but a little consciousness.
To be conscious is not to be in time
But only in time can the moment in the rose-garden,
The moment in the arbour where the rain beat,
The moment in the draughty church at smokefall
Be remembered; involved with past and future.
Only through time time is conquered.
T.S Eliot, Four Quartets, Burnt Norton.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sitting in the car with the radio
Turned to static
Feeling quite tragic
And with one strategic blow
And you find yourself back in the hole
That you used to sit so comfortably, comfortably in..
Friday, April 10, 2009
it's been awhile since i blogged in a coherent, coherent and explanatory fashion, probably because I felt it was sufficient to let poems and wandering soliloquies do the bantering instead.
it's been an hour over and none of them are here to join me in the pursuit of academic excellence, i guess its my turn now to experience what's sweet solitude in the HSS Lounge. or what's left of that perceived solace, if it was there in the first place, because toilet bowls are made to be flushed unless used by an ill-mannered individual.
exams are round the corner but it doesn't seem to affect me in anyway, not that it did the past 10+ years of my life anyway. but i guess deep inside me i know I'm expecting more to this life then just grades, or familial happiness or money's worth. somehow or rather everyday just presents itself as another normal day to me; is this equanimity or emotional indifference ? i cant tell the difference nowadays, as much as it aches for some semblance of gratification.
anyway it must be my incessant late comings that has brought this solitary 'retribution' of sorts, i was one to always believe in the laws of balance and cycles, but don't get me wrong, I'm a Christian in every right, although i despise the corporate and the commercial means of promotion nowadays. Whoever said being overtly charismatic was a virtue ? Speaking of charismatism, when emotion is spewed from an honest response i feel it is wholly acceptable, but if affection is lent at the expense of hollowing yourself, even if it's based on familiarity and past memories, why waste it ? why stare at the sun? unfortunately, these decisions aren't made entirely by us, but rather by the external factors that make us. it makes us more vulnerable and porous in every, and i mean every aspect... but i guess it's a vulnerability we all choose to accept because that's just what defines us: being a fucking human.
it's been an hour over and none of them are here to join me in the pursuit of academic excellence, i guess its my turn now to experience what's sweet solitude in the HSS Lounge. or what's left of that perceived solace, if it was there in the first place, because toilet bowls are made to be flushed unless used by an ill-mannered individual.
exams are round the corner but it doesn't seem to affect me in anyway, not that it did the past 10+ years of my life anyway. but i guess deep inside me i know I'm expecting more to this life then just grades, or familial happiness or money's worth. somehow or rather everyday just presents itself as another normal day to me; is this equanimity or emotional indifference ? i cant tell the difference nowadays, as much as it aches for some semblance of gratification.
anyway it must be my incessant late comings that has brought this solitary 'retribution' of sorts, i was one to always believe in the laws of balance and cycles, but don't get me wrong, I'm a Christian in every right, although i despise the corporate and the commercial means of promotion nowadays. Whoever said being overtly charismatic was a virtue ? Speaking of charismatism, when emotion is spewed from an honest response i feel it is wholly acceptable, but if affection is lent at the expense of hollowing yourself, even if it's based on familiarity and past memories, why waste it ? why stare at the sun? unfortunately, these decisions aren't made entirely by us, but rather by the external factors that make us. it makes us more vulnerable and porous in every, and i mean every aspect... but i guess it's a vulnerability we all choose to accept because that's just what defines us: being a fucking human.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Perhaps we cannot hear that harmony now. Perhaps we even hear it as a vast and empty silence. But we should not be deceived. That vastness is not empty, it is a presence. Even in the greatest places silence has a sound.
