Thursday, November 29, 2007
ever had your self-esteem crushed so hard you felt suffocated?
when all the self-doubting questions came raining down like a hellish downpour, did you worry about your own inadequacies ?
you look frantically for a reasonable solution; maybe its not your fault but theirs. they are just blind and ignorant to your talents and positives. you try to seek solace in ageless phrases of comfort like "you deserve much better than this" and "there are so many other fishes in the water."
however more often than not the ignorant fool could be ourselves. I am at fault. I lack the abilities, the looks, the charm, that sturdy financial backing, the charisma. i could go on and on, form countless lists of my shortcomings. face it, your not good enough. she doesn't like you for who you are, he doesn't care about the talents you have, the person you think you have fallen headoverheels for regards you as a mere mannequin, an inanimate object that certainly provides company and nothing more. no matter how hard you try, or how little in some cases, your just not up to par to that other guy across the train station.
makes you wonder whether everything that we do, is just everything we've done.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
I've been asking myself for ages to blog, to pen or rather type in a simple post. you know, the kind that gives people a rough semblance of how your life's going and all. given the advent of technology information gets around pretty quick, and well hey hey theres no surprise if anyone feels perturbed when they fail to see anything new on their fellow friends facebook account or any new pictures posted on his/her blog.
main question is does anyone really bother about you par se ? sure they read your blog, get some facts here and there, and thats it. the relation doesn't transcend further than your monitor screen. a few kind/harsh words posted on that lonely tagboard, a friendly (perhaps pretentious) comment on your friendster account. thats about it. they'd browse what you wrote and think wow alright he's in deep shit. but thats it. you dont lend a physical helping hand. you dont hold your words true. like leaves swept by a breeze. and the best part is maybe you dont even care at all.
on a completely random thought about how some people can actually gloat about the amount of friends they "have"; i presume you know every single person you've added eh ? how depressing can it get. sure i do add people i dont know, but i dont boast about how sociable i am. well I'm sure clicking on thumbnails and browsing insentient pictures gives you a real kick.
of cause there are the genuine cases. they feel leaving behind a comment makes your day a little better, and then later they'll follow up with a quick sms. or something else.
i can never distinguish between your words of comfort. is everything im seeing a veneer ?
i apologise for such an outburst after such a long absence from blogging. promise an informative post next time around alright.
