Friday, February 29, 2008
it's been awhile since i last blogged. so yeahh heres some minor updates, apart from my usual rants day to day.
in case anyone hasn't noticed i have officially reached my ORD, on the 5th of feb. haha needless to say im veryveryvery happy to have finally been released from the shackles of the national beast. though i'll miss all those times when i actually did have fun. haha. hmm let me see.
from the humble beginnings of my BMT days to the momentous outfield days to the POP day.
and then came mandai hill camp, a whole new environment, and the IMF which was killer but damn fun as well. great friends i made too.
and then came my posting order, because they decided to make every transport and logistic camp into HUBS. (oh how i hate that word, nowadays everyone is using hubhub we are a hub blabla) became the signal store IC. guided them through thick and thin. heard they achieved the A grade again from the last inspection. nice one guys.
and so theres where my army life ends... 050208 ( supposed to be 070208, but it was chinese new year, so it was supposedly 060208. but i had a little argument with my chief clerk and he gave it to me earlier haha )
ok i know this post is really really long overdue ahaha but yeahh it had to come up sometime. thats it, a major phase of my life has whizzed by just like that. to think it would have been over, and i wont lie, the time inbetween is really awfully slow. especially when you have duty or whatever. makes you really want to get the fuck out.. to people who are still inside don't fret! you'll make it soon enough. alright thats it for now, i'll be blogging soon again.
Friday, February 22, 2008
some things i've given serious thought about.
is it possible to love, a person that you've never met, never talked to before, but yet once you see their face , talk for just a blissful 5 minutes, you know you've seen someone special, someone unique. you dote, or at least try your best to get to know her as a good friend. sometimes monetary laws you once strictly upheld are shown the door as you spread your wings of selflessness and benevolence. even if u barely know the person, you'll try to talk, trying to grapple onto each passing minute, for you know time is short. okay even if you've known that person for many years, you'd think you've forged some special bond. is all this crap possible?
yes.
but is it possible that the person, is not interested, or maybe just regards you as an acquaintance (sometimes even after a long period of time), more often than not associating that very conversation, that moment (you treasure so much) as mere chit-chat or an ordinary meeting ? for the record, the latter doesn't know, or (in worst case scenarios) give a damn, that your just trying to be nice. and yet being the blind fool you stumble upon each roadblock with glee, dismissing it for you think you would get what you want in the end. only a fool would do such a thing, no?
yes.
its painful and very unsurprisingly agonising to watch such a scene, less so experiencing one yourself. an unfortunate victim of circumstance? or just terrible EQ. or maybe your bad haircut. or just that maybe you'll never get to meet her, you'll never fit into her social life, you'll never ever cross her mind. disheartening, but as they say, the truth fucking hurts.
but sometimes maybe you wonder whether its your fault.
you blame the insecurities, that indecisiveness, your impulsive behaviour, your bad fashion sense, your physical shortcomings, or the lack of some intelligence and wit in your small bloody head.
a dilemma? you could rightly say so. you struggle to face the facts, and off goes your mood.
you slump into a bog of depression. vertigo and limbo all drawn together in symphonic cacophony.
needless to say this is the problem with unrequited love. agape love. or perhaps a selfless heart. or maybe too much arrogance on my part. even so, there are so many heartaches, but no aspirin thus far, so I'm stuck.
