Monday, August 30, 2004
shawns excessive blogging is back by popular demand. due to the infinite support showned by excitingly bored friends and family .. i shall thereby announce that i shall put and squeeze in every ounce of my time that i can afford to into writing an entry a day or a week at a time.. fret not boys and girls..
today wasnt eventful.. nth much absorbed during class.. nth much rmbed too.. apart from the fact that rachel has a husky voice. today was a kind of muddled up pool of fun mixed with angst and depression that even i fail to comprehend.. what more u people that see me from the outside world.. anyway i have this nagging feeling my lifes just about to turn upside down when it comes to emotional love.
oh well!
wats new anyway ..
after all its my life~
and it tends to take bends that are full of lament
and not to mention soap opera cliches.
i studied and came to a conclusion that yes there are people sane enough to take you for granted. as in really for granted.
enough is enough. the threads that binded my blindness and kindness has frayed.
no more giving in nor submissive behaviour.
just good ol trash talk and highly acclaimed and prominent tools of sadistic humour like sarcasm.
why cant people just treat people as their own people and not foreign people ?
i dont understand how good will and pure love and be repayed by coldness and snide remarks that seem to be thought all the time. and how intellectuals dismiss their intellegence for pure stupidity.
and yes arts society folks stop looking at me like i owe u a shit.
cause i dont.
and fans from tss.. im going to put up a show for u tmr
so watch out for your ankles and jaws.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
the last time i updated was august 22 .. that makes it 6 days ..
''everything can change in a day'' .. to all you tgost lovers.. ya its the famous quote.. i think..
so wat more 6 days.. many things changed.. just like the hairs on ur body growing. or the wind blowing. or the sun shining.
enough of that and lets get on with what happened in my interestingly dulled life..
all i can remember is the late nites.. and more late nites..
skool is killing me..
or rather was..
haha chilling now..
as much as possible.. if i value my sanity yes i think i do deserve to slack now..
and i cant wait to get back to my secondary school! ^^
Sunday, August 22, 2004
the monitor screen once again compels me to start jotting down snippets of my tedious and stumbling life. sorry fans boys and girls ladies and gentlemen for not updating.
ive been trapped in shit loads of official school work.. and other emotional and primal commitments. what still amazes me is the human mind.
i hate feeling down.
i know i hate it.
yet it still encroaches.
my brain must know how i feel.
yet it doesnt respond in the way i want it to..
so much for science.
im afraid this week would be a hell ride. once again mindless bickerings would ensue.. baseless accusations will fly and fantastic deadlines would be thrown to add to the already chaotic pandemonium that spins me around. people take for granted the space they have and comment how stress is their main worry.. trust me.. JC life is the most stress.. stop talking about how long your hours are. long does not equate.
what really humourously irritates me is how intellectually endowed people know nothing about the basics of selflessness.. on fundamental humility.. the gift they were given isnt shared now has it..
the fact remains that people take advantage and no matter how much care u give and time u sacrifice.. they just reject. and take your joy replace it with sorrow. but hey we are all happy now are we ?
i know i'm of low intellect anyway. so leave me in my cave and let me hunt.
sorry.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
havent been updating for such a long time.. have been really busy with school work and shit..
jc life is tough no matter what.
and here am i typing.
the irony.
oh.
what the heck.
its been awhile since ive
taken my intellectual capacity to a higher level.
oh well i guess im just dumb.
found that out during gothic tutorial.
stephanie chua commented that what i did wasnt my work.
what rubbish. what daft ideas she must have.
aside from that, ive never felt so much more dumb and saliently depressed as the days go by.
its true ladies and gentlemen. Ive finally hit rock bottom.
as mentioned many times by my long winded self such primal emotions are highly probable to be experienced by the individual. the human individual. oh how flawed we are.
we boast how extravagent how sophisiticated we are as compared to other animals in the world.
such arrogance isnt always obvious.
look at the things we do. analyse.
take a step back and realise how annoying we are.
a classic example would be the studying of the gothic.
come on please wake up. stop subverting stop transgressing.
because you cant. we live in a world where apples are meant to be dropped.
where humans are what we are.
dualities exist. so ? big deal.
we strive to be perfect and obtain too much knowledge.
why can we just live life.
i dont know the answers for this.
ya.
its too complexed.
and once again ive never felt so
useless.
inadequate.
the coward in me never fails to surface.
why can i do things right for a change?
life isnt meant for living.
its meant for suffering.
miss u.
"all things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
sorry guys for not updating ! haha.. been really busy being lazy~ haha!
well.. the holidays do past by fast and its time to go back to skool tmr.. sigh.. more stress more stress and more stress.. but hey i guess that makes us a better person in the future..
lets start with 6 augusts entry..
celebrated national day.. nth special.. was very much boring.. and i hate the house t shirt.. like a freaking muscle T.. so i wore two shirts instead ^^ anyway i would haf definitely prefered my secondary skools celebration as it would haf been more eventful and much more exciting.. but nvm what to do. i went up to answer one of the easy questions during the NE quiz if ur interested.. haha.. and my house won! for once.. the house i was in won something.. bcos to my knowledge.. i recall that since the house system was introduced into my skooling life.. the house i was in was constantly last. ^^ wat a big achievement. and maz came bak with snacks.. haha.. shes back frm canada to enjoy the torture again.. after the celebrations had econs lect and gothic lect... all of which were boring .. went to watch house of flying daggers after that..
i give it 2-5 stars. lousy plot. great action.great scenery.poor dialogue.many crappy love scences.. all in all lousy show as plot remains to be the bulk of a movie anyway.. haha
ok.. now for saturdays entry..
went to play pool at bukit timah shopping centre wif bao mel stan alwyn and claryce.. nth much happened there.. except for the fact that i only won one match out of the entire 2 hours we spent there.. haha! unlucky me. after that went queensway to see about our jersey.. the damn uncle say no size sia.. so must wait.. and its not confirmed as well.. so much for the collecting of jerseys.. i was so excited.. WAS... anyway.. after that went to do some shopping.. bought 2 shirts! with my bday money ^^
sunday.. nth much.. haha stayed over nite at my cousins house..
monday..spent most of the time slacking around my cousins house.. but managed to study abit ya..
and now today..
feeling quite useless.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
typing this by sheer will alone. im darn tired.. soccer and basketball make lethal combinations of physical and mental retardation..
but anyhow a sense of satisfaction can be uniquely felt in the depths of my heart~
probably i should recap on the magnificant events that occured since my birthday ya 3rd august..
quite a non special day actually. had meet the parents.. my mom really talked alot la.. talked for like an hour or so.. maybe sas was a bit shocked la.. haha... stayed behind for some study programme and actually got an econs essay done.. but thats all la.. mostly the time was well spent on discussing about other ppls lives.. or unintellectual jokes and debates.. which was fun..c considering the company.. went home half dead.. but still managed to cut cake la.. and thanks guys for rmbing my bday!.. i think..
the next day was mels bday (tai not tss yong) haha... nice coincidence ya.. played soccer after school in the bball court b4 going on to play basketball.. nth much happened i guess.. apart from the fact that sas screwed us again.. but this time.. it sort of made sense... our class isnt progressive.. and i feel ive regressed tremendously.. why? i dont know.. but i will find out the roots of the problem soon..
i guess maybe we're just or.. im just too lazy.. but indeed.. i couldnt help but feel slightly angry and objected to what sas said.. do results really matter actually.. do we have to be perfect everytime? or try to be at least.. i dont know.
today was great though.. released most of my stress thru 4 hours of intensive physical and mental workout.. played soccer from 3 - 430.. played basketball fomr 430-530.. den played soccer again till 800... haha! some may call it torture.. but i guess its like one step away from self destrucution at least.. soccer our class really played hardcore today.. we wanted to win so bad.. 4-2 .. not bad ar? although i didnt score la.. but i thought everyone really fulfilled their roles properly and efficiently.. our defense was great and i guess our fighting spirit pulled us through.. i nv ran so much or so fast in my life than today.. defended non stop.. and managed to save a few when i was goal keeping.. basketball was great too.. haha did a 360 fade away after crossing this guy badly.. i guess todays a lucky day la..
im afraid though.
of wat tmr brings.
of wat my actions today lead to.
im confused.
of wat i said today made sense.
whether my sentiments did come the way i wanted it to.
how long? how much?
really sometimes such primitive feelings can cause
a sense of reversal.
i wanna live where the sun comes out =)
Monday, August 02, 2004
hey guys im back! blog had some prob le.. so couldnt really update properly.. but anyways i shld be updating daily la..
well first off lets start by putting in saturdays entry..
me bao mel ray fik and huishi went to queensway to get our class jersey! haha.. had to wait for taxi damn bloody long.. we nearly wanted to faint.. waited for thousands of taxis.. all hired or on call... but finally luck smiled on us =) and gave us such a lovely and caring taxi ahpeh dat drove as if he was going visiting around singapore! yup.. he must haf had the impression that we were that nature lovers and enjoyed the most scenic route filled with hdb blocks and highways..
queensway was like a maze.. went round and round.. looking for a nice black and white jersey for our class.. cause white blue and orange all taken by other ppl alrdy in our skool.. wanna stand out more.. haha! finally went to this shop where the uncle was very kind and patient.. good service makes customers compeled to buy.. the previous shop we went to .. some JW shop.. they like didnt care about us for very very long.. we waited and waited.. so.. when he came. we walked out =P
haha.. ya.. my numbers 8 ! haha.. wanted 45 but look like football player like that..
after that came home and slacked and slacked.. my fav past time which i so intelligently call it 'self reflective programme'
how bout sunday.. hm after church went to walk walk.. but b4 that had a nice 'bday lunch' at hard rock cafe.. yup.. really nice.. they played quality songs there.. nirvana metallica audioslave.. not any of those crap pop songs or ballads or any of those shoe shop techno.. which was pleasent and gave me immense appetite..
besides that later went to search for my bday pressie but in vain.. haha..
later on went out with stella go walk walk.. again.. walk and walk..
but had fun la .. catching back on old times..
how bout today le..
played soccer.. on the sick muddy field.. but for ppl like me.. touching the ball is probably enough i guess.. although we did bo liao things la.. so little ppl running round the big field up down up down.. but ok la.. at least claryce joined us! she got talent ar.. haha
tmr our class going to play digimon! haha.. know why ? we going to curb our boredom..
our class is forced to stay in school till 830pm for this study programme thingy..
compulsary man.. no life till promos.. haha~ but its good i guess. considering how most of us did badly for the mid yrs.. i got FOO la.. although i think thats quite an achievement anyway considering i studied every paper the day before~ xD
sas going to meet my parents tmr.. but im not scared! because his my closest friend..
and right now im feeling really confused..
how infatuation and emotions really can make u feel crappy..
oh well.. tmrs always a lousier day~
our class ppl are all going to bring digimon tmr! haha..
Sunday, August 01, 2004
guys im tired. promise a long entry tmr k! =)
