traded your worth for these scars, for your only company.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

considering how the new years going to come, here's some defining and exciting moments i've had through out december, apart from all the home slacking, eating, sleeping, gaming, farting i've done

it all started after the bloody exams ended, with a makan celebration and watching madagascar 2, which was very nice coonsidering how brainless it was compared to the films we had to study.

another gathering with the elit gang, celebrating amreet's bday.

it was inter school games after that, played midfield for the hss soccer team. lost 1 drew 1 and didnt qualify for the semis, but it was fun while it lasted. hope next year would be much better!

amal's 19th at fish and co. first time kena sabo-ed by the crew, please avoid if its your birthday.

budi's long awaited christmas party at marina mandarin suite, the food was good, music was cheesily warm and the company was hilarious. present exchange was the bomb when one person recieved toilet paper haha. thanks dude for having us.

yearly christmas gathering with the relatives. once again lotsa laughs, and great pigging out as well. played the wii and all its retarded games, making a fool outta myself many times. i think theres a few videos lurking out there in my cousins com, and its bloody embarassing. apart from that, we played the new taboo game, where we had to describe things with a puppet, fun stuff.

had to call then when the cinema attendant came u had to put it down as fast as possible haha.

well that sums up december.

apart from that i havent jammed or gigged since may. im so aching to but everyones so busy when it comes to band commitments.. oh well you win some you lose some.

alright thats it for now.

{ 1:10 am }

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Ghost of Perdition

In time the hissing of her sanity,
faded out her voice and soiled her name.
And like marked pages in a diary,
everything seemed clean that is unstained.
The incoherent talk of ordinary days.

Why would we really need to live?
Decide what is clear and what's within a haze,
What you should take and what to give.

If one cut the source of the flow,
And everything would change.
Would conviction fall
In the shadow of the righteous ?
The phantasm of your mind
Might be calling you to go,
Defying the forgotten morals
Where the victim is the prey.

{ 2:12 am }

Friday, December 19, 2008

Weakness sweet weakness

{ 5:11 pm }

Thursday, December 18, 2008

its been awhile since i posted out my own personal words on this blog.

i've been letting songs describe what i've been going through ever since the holidays started, and i'd say its been doing a fine job in description, but like all good songs nothing changes, cause its just music and lyrics, no where near a motivational, divine reformation or a landmark epiphany or rising force, much to my dismay or rather, everyones (whom relates to the song) dismay.

the odd thing about music and all its charm, its depth and intricate compositions, at the end of the day it doesnt break barriers as much as we like. certainly the odd lyric or two might twang your emotional pangs and fit into that jigsaw you piece you miss, but at the end of the song you'd be stuck in square one. awe inspiring frantic fluid movements give you the sudden drive to try and compose and train to play like they play it, but at the end of the day theres just a limit, a cap to how much you can emulate and replicate and create. that happy piece might motivate you one day, but something called reality would kick you in the nuts after your smile emerges. that sad, moving piece might give you a shoulder to cry on, but thats that.

and yet music is the only place where i can find temporal solace and respite from daily rigours.

everyone is born with their limitations and everything in life, i mean everything, has laws and ceilings for you to bump your head into.

its just the way things work, its just how the wind blows and how the cookie crumbles.

sure you can wait, wait for that wall between to break, but its just a matter of time, of when.

when is such a big word, it always shoves its ugly rear at my face in all its taunting, melancholic and humbling glory.

{ 1:43 am }

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

And now I don't know why
She wouldn't say goodbye
But then it seems that I
Had seen it in her eyes.

And it might not be wise
I'd still have to try
With all the love I have inside
I can't deny

I just can't let it die
Cause her heart's just like mine
And she holds her pain inside

So if you ask me why
She wouldn't say goodbye
I know somewhere inside

There is a special light
Still shining bright
And even on the darkest night
She can't deny

So if she's somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There's no one else
Could ever make me feel
I'm so alive

I hoped she'd never leave me
Please God you must believe me
I've searched the universe
And found myself
Within' her eyes

No matter how I try
They say it's all a lie
So what's the use of my
Confessions to a crime
Of passions that won't die
In my heart

So if she's somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There's no one else
Could ever make me feel
I'm so alive
I hoped she'd never leave me

Please God you must believe me
I've searched the universe
And found myself
Within' her eyes

So if she's somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There's no one else
Could ever make me feel
I'm so alive

I hoped she'd never leave me
Please God you must believe me
I've searched the universe
And found myself
Within' her eyes

And now I don't know why
She wouldn't say goodbye
It just might be that I
Had seen it in her eyes
And now it seems that I
Gave up my ghost of pride
I'll never say goodbye.

{ 2:51 am }

Sunday, December 14, 2008

in pitch dark i go walking in your landscape.

broken branches trip me as i speak.

just 'cause you feel it doesnt mean its there.

There's always a siren

Singing you to shipwreck

Steer away from these rocks

We'd be a walking disaster

just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean its there.

There there!

why so green and lonely?

heaven sent you to me

we are accidents waiting waiting to happen.

{ 6:41 am }

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

While you make pretty speeches
I'm being cut to shreds
You feed me to the lions
A delicate balance

And this just feels like spinning plates
I'm living in cloud cuckoo land
And this just feels like spinning plates
Our bodies floating down the muddy river

{ 3:30 am }

...and it's hard to hold a candle

in the cold november rain

{ 1:48 am }

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Make your move, obvious humor, desperate and respiratory plight.
Always on, dressed to impress,
I'll be the last one to find out why.

Time takes its toll on us (this changes everything).
I'd be a liar if I denied you at all.
Oh, now that I know,

I've been trading ideas with intriguing men, and I...I
perceive an honest solution to all your plight.

Time takes its toll on us (this changes everything).
I'd be a liar if I denied you at all.

And the amplifier screams out loud for the last time.
Wave your hands at the audience as you sink on in.

First chance to hide, you need desperately so, find me, so.

Motion gives up on you in the end.
I'll try my best to be home by then.
You'll see the grace we had,
She'll never have,You'll never have.

I'm going home but by my own way. I'm going home by my own...

I would really love if you'd sit him down. I would really love if you'd pull this thread.

{ 4:35 am }

Friday, December 05, 2008

rudimentary languish

transcending adroitly, the troughs of emotion once felt

when enthrallment first struck fittingly sticks, forever

in debt to a comfortable, believable persona from the past.

mistaken and forsaken in stark, bar(r)e(n) truth,

many try to conform to acceptable disbelief and unshackle

themselves from the familiar ties that bind,

policing a social veneer of forwardness and openness,

with times leading new sheep, with the promise of green pastures.

granted and definitely proven, the test of time and its elements prove

that a bad man's lovely worth and fevered impressions fade with attrition

as easily as Sisyphus's obligations.

often times it is the demons that unwittingly bind us, rather than

willing good souls, as with a sinkhole that threatens to be an eternal damnation,

belies a presumed self-divulged love treasure

waiting to be embraced...

if ever.

{ 3:09 am }