Saturday, November 29, 2008
is it possible to love, a person that you've never met, never talked to before, but yet once you see their face , talk for just a blissful 5 minutes, you know you've seen someone special, someone unique. you dote, or at least try your best to get to know her as a good friend. sometimes monetary laws you once strictly upheld are shown the door as you spread your wings of selflessness and benevolent. even if u barely know the person, you'll try to talk, trying to grapple onto each passing minute, for you know time is short. okay even if you've known that person for many years, you'd think you've forged some special bond. is all this crap possible?
yes.
but is it possible that the person, is not interested, or maybe just regards you as an acquaintance (sometimes even after a long period of time), more often than not associating that very conversation, that moment (you treasure so much) as mere chit-chat or an ordinary meeting ?
for the record, the latter doesn't know, or (in worst case scenarios) give a damn, that your just trying to be nice. and yet being the blind fool you stumble upon each roadblock with glee, dismissing it for you think you would get what you want in the end. only a fool would do such a thing, no?
yes.
its painful and very unsurprisingly agonising to watch such a scene, less so experiencing one yourself. an unfortunate victim of circumstance? or just terrible EQ. or maybe your bad haircut. or just that maybe you'll never get to meet her, you'll never fit into her social life, you'll never ever cross her mind. disheartening, but as they say, the truth fucking hurts.
but sometimes maybe you wonder whether its your fault.you blame the insecurities, that indecisiveness, your impulsive behaviour, your bad fashion sense, your physical shortcomings, or the lack of some intelligence and wit in your small bloody head.
a dilemma? you could rightly say so. you struggle to face the facts, and off goes your mood.you slump into a bog of depression. vertigo and limbo all drawn together in symphonic cacophony.
needless to say this is the problem with unrequited love. agape love. or perhaps a selfless heart. or maybe too much arrogance on my part. even so, there are so many heartaches, but no aspirin thus far, so I'm stuck.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Remissions
Minds intertwined together
Shaking, moving in oh-so lovely vibrancy
Swaying along a disconcerted symphony we all enjoy very much.
Exuberant jubilant convivial moods erupt
Right to the very last drop.
Sneak a chance, steal the show
Remember your still very much in control.
Bobbing, gyrating in a beautiful frenzy
They, like you, enjoy the cacophony of the mess,
Right to the very last grasp
and touch.
Bodies moving with wondrous energy
The wonderfulness of it all.
Just like a spiritually cleansing courtship
Married with a touch of infidelity.
Start to binge, take a spin,Don’t forget to watch your chin.
Now now, is what everyone is witnessing sheer artistry?
Definitely a prodigy,as beautiful as fire against the darkening sky.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Scars
as the unforgiving knives drive in deeper,
the human heart takes an awful
plunge, one that deeps down into solititude
and bends towards
an unforgiving bane of nostalgic hate.
the mind takes a step back into a lonely path
on a
winding road with stormy windsand sunshine paths
-laced with memories of sweetnothings
and bliss;crumpled and foldedneatly with vengeful crises.
fists clenched,eyes closed,the desire to forget becomes one with
the passion once cherished...and the ambivalence of it all thrives
in agony and sweet delight.
She walks with head down on the winding road,pauses, looks in chagrin at a lone tree..
he sits at a bar, wonders and indulgesin the purloined echoeslocated in every bottom of a glass.
after all, a raging fire so bright,a frustrating pother so thickcan never find an end to its existence
till it gets smothered..
the rain had never been so comforting.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
"I jumped in the river and what did I see?
Black-eyed angels swam with me
A moon full of stars and astral cars
All the things I used to see
All my lovers were there with me
All my past and futures
And we all went to heaven in a little row boat
There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt"
must there always be dualities to issues ? the flip side of the coin they say, or just another neutral perspective, a fair and unbiased approach from the fench, untainted and unmediated. why couldn't the world be filled with absolute truth, a negative without a positive, without the reason to shun dark for light ? there is true solace with the knowledge of a grounded, unmoving truth, but in every case this perception becomes a weak assumption because there are always two banks at the end of a mighty sea. the numerous oppositional forces always drives people bewildered and out of their comfort zones, deriding our composure, leaving us essentially destabalized. granted, the omniscient view on multiple perspective is especially useful for academia related theory and propagation, this appeals to the intellectual narcissitc self absorbed mortal mind because it exemplfies meta-awareness and percieved divinity on the physical plane. fanning of ego aside, this avaliability of dualities just complicates everyday arguments and heated disputes; if we all know there is always a greener side, why do we incessantly advocate our percieved truth and viewpoints, refusing to collapse in and resign to anothers will?
there is no true answer because again, the complication of dualities come to foray. perhaps the only way out is a complete cessation, which i would readily accept if my time has come.
moving on to lighter things, today we had some of our last lects and tuts for this sem's modules. its been fast definitely, and how time fries.
HL104, T2 one of E-lit's finest (perversed) minds
HS103, T7 - the bane of my existence in uni thus far, but hey we all love banes!
