Sunday, February 27, 2005
Within
she walked out from a cold fog
charmed by powers of ambidexterity
ignorant, yet cunningly aware.
he stood there in the rain
drenched in his own sorrow
saddened, yet blindly ignorant.
i had wanted to tell him
she'd have walked by
just like anyone along this street
i had wanted to tell him
she'd be smiling
but my words seemed to grey before me.
****************************************
the man in the corner looked into the mirror
gazed deep and hard, trying to recollect
what had happened during those drunken bouts
now confined to a rocking chair in his room
the days dull into shades of grey
shatters into droplets of defeat
had he did what he should have done
none of this would have happened
yet, the man did not lament
he just sat and stared and gazed,
accompanied by friendly echos of
old recollections, into himself
and suddenly, almost swiftly
it came
leaving nothing less than a shadow
on that rocking chair.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Epiphany
Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it
wash away 'cause i can't take anymore
of this, I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole insideyour precious heart
'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attentionthough I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
if i dont rant, can i survive ?
no i suffer from a
conniption fit.
Conniption Fit
Theres only so much a wall can take before it breaks from strain.
Just stop all that balderdash here,there,wherever,whenever --
flawed vision hinders, so why doesn't it hinder yours ?
Some questions i can never get into my irreverant brain.
.we never will know, never will find out.
Little whispers circle about your head as you try to deal
with all that logic burnt at the tip of the decievers tongue.
we start lying so much so we find reaffirmation in ourselves.
"Who hell you , Challenge me Fool? "
or so the Cockamaroo sings everyday to the pedestal that reads
"Judge not lest ye be judged yourself."
Just like the moon revolves round the stars,
indeed you are Holier than thou.
we cant deny , we cant refute.
if an extinguished consequence lies bare on the oil plains of eventuality
We all know what to do, Yes, We graciously accept what we will know what to do.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
i guess ive just crossed another hurdle.
but sometimes i felt i was on the floor, face scarred.
anyhow, i want to break away.
Seether - Got It Made
So I said this once before
I'm never gonna give you in, no,not again,cause I've wasted all I've known
To watch it fade and slip away, no,from my hands
And what I have I have in mind
And I think about you all the time
I'm feeling miles away
You think I've got it made
I don't belong here
I'm feeling like a candle
Burning at both ends
I don't belong here
Now I hide myself away
I never want to feel again, no,not again cause I faced this all alone
And let this eat and and wash away, no,It's all the same
And what I have I have in mind
And I think about you all the time
I'm feeling miles away
You think I've got it made
I don't belong here
I'm feeling like a candle
Burning at both ends
I don't belong here
And I don't
Well never run away here soon
Never run away here soon
Never run away here soon
Cause what I have I have in mind
And I think about you all the time
I'm feeling miles away
You think I've got it made
I don't belong here
I'm feeling like a candle
Burning at both ends
I don't belong here
And I'm feeling, And I'm feeling,And I'm feeling, Like I don't belong,And I'm feeling, And I'm feeling,And I'm feeling, Like I don't belong.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Requiem
Have you ever wanted to die when you were without your friends? Haven’t you said goodbye to the one on who your life depends? Could it be that I don’t want to save you anymore? Could it be that we don’t have what it takes? Have you ever wished for fire to burn away your mind's restraints? Haven’t you been for hire or suffered those cheap complaints? Could it be that I don’t want to save you anymore? Could it be that we don’t have what it takes? Take it away I don’t like this anymore , Take it away and throw it away.....I never found out how he survived - a life lived in lies is a life in denial .. I never found out how he would lie - with a smile on a face and the scratches he'd hide.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
the days just pass.
have u ever had the feeling you had something so close, so familiar and yet so distant and cold..
something you used to think was a haven for your sorrows.
going around again aimlessly.
just cant type anymore of my feelings, its getting too repressed for me to care.
ive just realised my talent for everything is bare minimal. oh well.
My Friend Of Misery
You just stood there screaming
Fearing no one was listening to you
They say the empty can rattles the most
The sound of your own voice must soothe you
Hearing only what you want to hear
And knowing only what you've heard
You, you're smothered in tragedy
And you're out to save the world
Misery
You insist that the weight of the world
Should be on your shoulders
Misery
There's much more to life than what you see
My friend of misery
You still stood there screaming
No one caring about these words you tell
My friend, before your voice is gone
One man's fun is another's hell
These times are sent to try men's souls
But something's wrong with all you see
You, you'll take it on all yourself
Remember, misery loves company
Misery
You insist that the weight of the world
Should be on your shoulders
Misery
There's much more to life than what you see
My friend of misery
You just stood there screamingMy friend of misery
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence
You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best.You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.
http://www.blogthings.com/intelligencequiz.html
lol.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
talk about the idiosyncrasy
one day im up
the next its just fades away
im locked in myself now
u cant get me out
my brains are drained
muscles burnt
emotions scarred
ideologies battered
reaffirmation anyhow would be great now.
One
I can't remember anything,
Can't tell if this is true or dream,
Deep down inside I feel to scream,
This terrible silence stops it there
Now that the war is through with me,
I'm waking up, I cannot see,
That there's not much left of me,
Nothing is real but pain now
Hold my breath as I wish for death,
Oh please God, wake me
Back in the womb it's much too real,
In pumps life that I must feel,
But can't look forward to reveal,
Look to the time when I'll live
Fed through the tube that sticks in me,
Just like a wartime novelty,
Tied to machines that make me be,
Cut this life off from me
Now the world is gone I'm just one,
help me hold my breath as I wish for death
Darkness, imprisoning me,
All that I see, Absolute horror,
I cannot live, I cannot die,
Trapped in myself, Body my holding cell
Landmine, Has
taken my sight,
Taken my speech,
Taken my hearing,
Taken my arms,
Taken my legs,
Taken my soul,
Left me with life in hell
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
read thru my previous post
the post of enlightenment, realised it was really unlike me. i mean what happened to the ever lamenting sickening shawn that kept to himself and drowned himself everytime he confronted danger or trouble or disappointment.
today, i tried hard to keep up with my high as from the few other yesterdays, but it seems to just fade. still the battle rages on and i struggle.
my right knee and thigh hurts, i guess its from the carried on fatigue from that match on saturday.
anyway, did some analysis when i came home early today.
browsed through blogs of ppl i didnt know, but was known by my friends somehow or rather. jumping from link to link, found a blog abt a tanglin girl surviving the rigours of jc, or so it seems.
cant handle the stress bla bla . wait, wait till the mid way point and u could almost feel the adrenaline seeping through your nose. haha. it was all sweet back then, when jc was seen as the haven of social enlightenment and of course, a breeze in the park if "i put in regular study patterns" . miss those few months of blind bliss. well my advice is just tahan la huh. i'm being stretched now too . arghggh. and ! i saw this comment. er went something like, "the way he talked..this seperated what a chinese high student and a tanglin student" blaaaaaa . i think thats all wrong and theres no difference. never look down on our sch. never.. i mean , whats the deal with all this good school bad school ting. the idea whereby neighbourhood schools behave in this way, that way.. these good schools behave this way , the correct way. i believe everyone is great in their on right, and the school does not in no way make a difference. (although the pillars of society may deny my view.) so much for sophistication too. im fed up with all that mambo jumbo on being the intellect, cant we be simple for once. oh well..
by no way this comment was meant to be a diss anyway, its not my style. i apologise if anything thing went wrong. and now after typing all that, i feel a little stupid but nevermind, my fingers cant stop moving.
went thru other blogs, saw those people i term " tag haters" they tag and diss and cuss and just do everything to make a person pissed. i remember i had one such case. whats up with this people, taking delight in hatin'. they should all get a life, or just kill themselves since they hate everyone.
ohh well. today wasnt such a great day. my mom once again back to the usual. and im drowning myself.
and i ended up posting a "what-i-did-today-i-hate-it-so-much-blog" entry. wee.
