Sunday, August 27, 2006
time fries, i mean flies. its the weekend again. or more accurately, the weekend is ending soon. its already sunday morning. sigh, soon, i'll have to book in, again.
the cycle of my life is getting too mundane, dull, predictable and repetitive. to put it in a more apt way, it totally sucks. i just hate the feeling of going in to a prison at the start of every week.
anyhow, here's an update of my life. as you all know, i was an infantry recce trooper for a short period of time. hell, the short period of my life was hell. i hated it, loathed it. nothing could change my attitude towards what i was doing at that point of time.. meaningless, trivial physical torture. thinking back, the only thing i gained was friends, bundled with a huge mass of negativity.
so in came the 'OOC'. i got the hell outta there, and worked my way to be an admin personnel in my godforsakendamned camp. slowly, i gained the confidence of my commanders and peers thru my admin work. i started to enjoy my army life immensely, not only because of the respect and trust people gave me about my work, but because of the freedom and flexibility that came with it. can you imagine ? shawn, drawing out the brighter side of a picture.
last friday, the manpower board of the SAF decides to take that happiness away and give me a new posting : to become a driver. WTF. and then many strange sequences of events ensue. i book in to my new camp, sembawang camp with all more heavy barang barang. wait an entire day for them to sort out admin matters. in the end, they say they cant accept me in this new camp, and will have to post me out, again. TALK ABOUT EFFICIENCY AND BASIC MANNERS. i hate being in such a scenario.
played soccer briefly today with mel, ray, fik,alistar and gopal at a cck court. had some fun.. then they came over to my place to watch soccer and eat pizza. qutie a nice saturday spent i must say, even though arsenal went down terribly to manchester city 1-0. well, thats all my mind can process and type out now. oh, by the way pjc peeps, eddie koh has a new blog up. www.readingtherain.blogspot.com .. pretty interesting read i must say, keeping us updated about the life abroad and stuff.. going back to that blog just made me miss my jc days so so much. the nostalgia i feel now can never be expressed in words. well, shall blog more later on in the sunday. till then, sleep tight.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Liverpool have proven that the Chelsea machine is not invincible after all. Heres Crouch the beanpole celebrating his winning header at the 80th minute.
FA Community Shield Liverpool 2 Chelsea 1.
Well, looks like my long holiday is finally coming to an end, i've been slacking since tues morning till this very hour. a sweet, temporary but nonetheless worth while taste of civilian life... for a moment, whilst chatting with my cousin at the dinner table, i almost forgot i was an NSF. wasted. i almost convinced myself that i gotta make it to school in time for the 745am flag rising, to beat saspurie's fury. hahahaha. well, time flies and i gotta book in tmr at 10pm. still good, at least i got a day ahead of me still. got to catch the first glimpse of english football action, something that i've been looking foward for very long.
if anyone is guessing, i dont support liverpool, although i respect them as a team. with their new signings this season, they seem more formidable than ever. with the lengthy peter crouch scoring the winner in this thrilling pre-season rumble, i cant help but feel liverpool, a team struggling to find their old glory days in the past, stand a realistic chance at the premiership title.
still, i have every faith in arsenal. haha, and their high flying captain, thierry henry.
Henry after scoring a trademark goal in the 4-2 mulling of Wigan, pulling Arsenal into the fourth place after struggling in the premiership last season.
apologise for the soccer talk, ahaha i cant help it. EPL is starting soon, in fact, this coming saturday is the start. the guys will all be glued to the google box once again, cheering and hurling vulgarities at the screen. yay! cant wait. with new siginings like rochisky in arsenal as well as the development of fabregas, my favourite player, i cant wait for arsenal to take on chelsea.
well, gotta get a hair cut tmr, my hair is getting 'long' for army standards. till den, i'll end off here, and begin blogging on my class blog, which are showing signs of revival. hooray.
Friday, August 11, 2006
woot. im on holiday ! self made one that is. booking in officially only on monday night if nth else goes wrong. shiok. finally a well deserved break. thank you very much.
been a relaxing three days so far, from tues morning right up till now. lets hope tmr's badminton competition im co-running with my 2LT friend goes smoothly and fast, so i can be free again. hope saturday there is soccer, and hope i get the monday off. woot.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
typing this entry in a cold, lonely night before my book in.
to be exact, im typing this entry 5 hours to my reporting timing. haha. hows life shawn ? i wonder.
sitting down and reflecting, 19 years have whizzed pass really fast. its as though the moment i stepped into pj was yesterday. all the fun, laughter, sweat and tears all seemed not too far away. what happened to all the good times.. its sad, how life never waits for you.
everyone has moved on with their own lives, at least with the most of us, not in NS.
being in the army makes one think about this life. what direction am i heading towards ? where do i want to go when im done with this shit ? what am i to everyone else around me ? are the morals and ideals i used to live by still upheld today ? so many self reflexive questions that perturb me when i lie quietly on top of the double decker bed, in the darkness, with only the sound of fans and snores to accompany my ticking head.
everyday i find no meaning in my life when i wake up at 6am. my brain tells me to change, go down and start my work. my hands tell me that i should work fast to avoid chiding and scolding. my legs tell me to walk away as fast as i can when i see my platoon sergeant lingering around. my heart tells me this is not what i like. regardless, i feel like a programmed robot, fixated, rooted and restricted. whenever i do a needless chore, a mindless task, a fruitless assignment, i cant help but feel so much frustration. my time could have been better spent. call it selfishness on my part, self-righteousness even. but i dont feel obliged to serve my nation, at least not in a military matter. the NE lessons they taught us, CME lessons and all that propoganda hooray hooray charades are useless as far as im concerned. they didnt affect me one bit. in fact im filled with cynicism for this country everytime they tell me about meritocracy, transparency etc.. i really dont know why..all the positives they so painstakingly imparted never ever failed to fuel the increasing negativity i had for a word many 'garang' soldiers hold dear to their souls : patriotism.
well enough complaining. i know i have no right to curse my nation in such a manner. im living comfortably after all. yet.... sigh i dont know.
what happened to all you guys ? what happened to soccer, fun, studying, slacking, eating in the canteen, farting in the toilets, running away from teachers, copying each others work, skipping tests. what ever happened to waking up in the morning, knowing that today and the rest of the days are going to be bright and happy ? what happened to the life i loved ?
