Sunday, October 02, 2005
its been awhile since i blogged. . with the exhausting prelims and all.. taking a short break before the intense mugging starts for the As... i could say that my results are kind of crappy, so i'll have to work doubly hard.. but im confident i can do it, get those elusive As and Bs or Cs for my cert.
the lit trip on sat was great, really really tiring but nevetheless enlightening.. especially the sudden transition from the urban setting to a rural one.. makes u reflect and ponder that life has certainly more meaning to it, and more depth that we can explore. the small things are what we worry about most of the time, and i really feel now that its needless to be anxious or dismayed at my current trepiditions and struggles.. because its minute.. the suffering of poor people, and the pain people endured during the past wars, the diseases people battle and the people whom fight just to breath another breath, those are the stuff perhaps that are worth worry, anxiety,depression etc. as such, my prelims are of nth but the past... any setback shldnt be worried upon or lamented much on (though some form of it has to be reflected upon so we gain and grow in character) and i'll move on more confident and more able after every slap on my face. holding on to memories are different to me now, i'll hold on to those useful to me, the rest i'll chuck it, cos its not worth it. my grudges bored, my laments are so far away now.. i feel like a human dynamo now... nothing will affect me, unless i get killed.. (read:murdered or knocked down by a car)
troubles me sometimes how people hold dear to the misdeeds, their misfortunes and how they were wronged. the right to be angry is correct nonetheless, but that feeling should just dissapate after awhile.. i feel deeply sorry and really passionately symphathic for those unable to move on and are just stuck like murals on a forgotten wall.. trapped in their own self righteous carousels of grief , chagrin, rage and silliness. i dont disregard the fact some scars are really deep... and really unforgiving.... advice ? move on, because reality wont wait for you, and your world would crumble of you stay. not now, but slowly. oh yes, pessimism and anger drains you, and your life would be put to waste..
on a side note, i feel like saying a big thanks to all my friends and family. for being there. and my consicious, to remind myself not to be self righteous. woo!
