Sunday, January 30, 2005
as of yesterday i do not know anything about it
as of all my previous posts, i would glady forget them
as of now, i have finally found that purpose to continue on with a smile
i can finally see why, i can finally see how.
that is that, what can be will happen, what cannot be, should be left as it has always been.
in the wake of a brand new week, on this very sunday 30 Janurary 2005.
i have finally attained my nirvana, my melancholic euphoria. not yours, not Buddhas,not Einsteins not even Kurt Cobains. no pun intended. Mine.
people reading my post
your mind should be struggling to think now
"why has this guy, whom ive seen been struggling
staggering
trying so hard to get the truth out of his devious life
finally been able to write something as positive as this ?"
or
"why all this bullshit. I enjoyed reading his all so depressing posts."
"finally he has woken up"
the tunnel ive been walking endlessly in
has finally collapsed
into an expressway with no restrictions
today ive seen the most , in my utmost humble opinion, inspiring thoughtful imaginative awesome film in my entire 18 years on planet earth
fight club
i cant get enough of it. it made me realise that dwelling on the past is just rapidly punching myself in the face.
go catch it yourself please. it'll will do you a favour
intepretions of the film would vary to and i know just the reason why. but i shant spoil it.
i have finally found solace in the depression, the mundane, the grey, the mechanical, the materialism, the superficiality, apparent, not only in my life.. but in other peoples lives as well.
striving to be, striving to become.
reconstructing myself and taking control.
living life to the fullest and abadoning social norms to embrace them with wide arms
seeking the smile - my priority
we all lack a great cause, like a war or depression, in which to test ourselves, to find the answers
to the questions that will surface, or has already surfaced in the daily lives we lead as faceless individuals of the rigid Singaporean Society
that aside.
i guess i know why now.
to find that purpose to smile is the purpose to smile after all.
