traded your worth for these scars, for your only company.

Monday, November 29, 2004

beautiful pother

where are you ?
the one with courage
where was me ?
the one with infinite confidence
or was it illusions ?
the one that overshadows my hopes
What are the shapes i knew nothing of ?
the one which resembled the screes which i threw my stones on
what is stopping me?
the one that obstructs my tarmac and my vision through the turbulence
is it in my illusive mind ?
the one that regresses constantly

i saw myself
i've seen you before
i saw him
he had seen me before
i saw you
but have you seen me before?

stop painting those sweet pictures
giving away openly false overtures
start anew with broken wings
without obstructions without flings
on inured knees i cry
will you give me the chance to try ?

{ 1:29 am }

Thursday, November 11, 2004

the greatest joy
to be loved, to understand, to actually taste freedom of emotional articulation..
to be able to breathe that fresh air everyone would sacrifce everything to experience.
yet, who are those that experiences those ?

are they
the ones who smile ?
the ones who are dedicated ?
the ones who are pure in intention and thinking ?
the ones who are able to provide ?

or are they
the ones that forsake.
the ones that forget.
the ones that are mistaken.
the ones who hold their head and stamp on good will.

i continue, this journey in hopes of finding that source of progress.

is there no end to ones regression ?
can one fatal cut be truly the deepest ?
can one pick himself up from a mere stumble ?
questions unanswered even as after evading the cessation.
what does that tarmac in front hold for me ?

the past appears
like an illusion..
full of mockery.
stay away.

{ 3:02 am }

Thursday, November 04, 2004

once again im back..
finally testing some sembelance of freedom.. with promos over and making the greatest accomplishment of my life by being promoted..
wee.

one more hurdle left.. AO chinese..
i hate chinese.. its a watse of time.

it burdens me to think how tedious the 3 hrs of the paper would be.. sitting down there
dozing off..
crap.

well i do hope it gets done with quicker..

those same images still haunt me
i cant seem to forget them.
blame it on my insecurities..

{ 5:00 pm }